Zillow pink houses brooklyn ny4/24/2024 Yes, these people are very rich and I am not, but look at the dumb things these rubes spent their millions on. Laughing at someone who has terrible taste, even if they happen to have vast buying power, is a kind of class catharsis. On Instagram, posts photos of specific bad rooms in California houses, while finds bad decor in home listings, albeit not necessarily mansions. Kate Wagner, an architecture writer, has a popular blog called McMansion Hell where she dissects bad cookie-cutter homes from the perspective of a trained architect. I’m also not the only person who has found comfort in making fun of very ugly and expensive houses. I started texting links of my best discoveries to friends and then posting them on Twitter and Instagram, and I am clearly not the only person delighted by photos of Eddie Murphy’s custom-built piano. I have a few tricks: terms like “original” or “chateau,” or setting the range for when the house was built to the ’90s. So you really have to develop a system to turn up the bad ones. You see the same looks over and over: tasteful gray-and-white living rooms, the study in dark wood paneling, massive tubs in the master bath. See, most super expensive homes are staged to death by a realtor or are just fairly bland. ![]() I love finding the truly hideous standouts - and I’m good at it. Montana and the West love a massive faux log cabin with lots of stuffed animal heads Scottsdale, Arizona, is a real grab bag of styles Dallas does a Texas version of the Long Island robber baron look. Gradually, I discovered the regional flavors of ugly mansions: Cleveland suburbs weirdly favor medieval or chateau style, Long Island loves the look of a Gilded Age robber baron estate. Outside of big cities, there aren’t many properties for sale over $10 million, so the handful you find are truly unique. I started out in the tristate area and then moved on to the rest of the country. Mansions on Staten Island that, well, look like mansions on Staten Island. A mansion in Connecticut that is literally a replica of Monticello, a Nashville mansion with a giant custom pirate ship bed that belongs to Big Kenny from Big & Rich (I googled the address), a ’90s purple explosion that belonged to Eddie Murphy (I learned that when I called the realtor to ask for permission to use the photos in this article apparently his ex-wife sold it after their divorce). Mansions clearly built in the ’80s, with custom white metal railings, by a Miami Vice fan. I found mansions with suits of armor in the hallway, made to look like medieval castles. And what I found was pure, hideous, tacky, gilded-and-marble joy. So I moved the sliding toggle out of the price range that might, in theory, be realistic for me, to find houses in the area that cost more than $10 million - just out of curiosity. The housing crisis and crash of 2007 has made homeownership as the American dream seem corrupted and sick, a stale beer left out with a cigarette butt in it after a frat party. The mere contemplation of the in-app mortgage calculator gave me vertigo. ![]() I downloaded Zillow, the real estate app, just to, you know, browse around, to scope out the market (this isn't #spon for Zillow you can use Redfin or Trulia to do the same thing). We visit them on weekends, and I can’t deny, it IS very nice. Our friends with kids have started the slow trickle to the suburbs, priced out of New York and yearning for yards and convenience. He hates the city and the noise and the black soot from the street that accumulates on our windowsills. He hates that it has no dishwasher or laundry, and he hates the cheap fixtures and the crumbling bathroom tile (our rent is significantly below market for Brooklyn because I’ve been living there for 15 years I’ll leave it when they take me out in a body bag). Or, he would say MY apartment, since I was living here first, and he moved in.
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